My New Year’s Resolution was “not to allow the small things to become peas under my mattress.” This of course being a reference to the fairy tale “The Princess and The Pea” It is a tale of a young woman [claiming to be a princess] seeks shelter in a castle where the prince is in search of a bride. The prince’s mother decides to test their unexpected guest by placing a pea in the bed the princess is offered for the night. The mother covers the pea with 20 mattresses and 20 featherbeds. In the morning, the guest tells her hosts that she endured a sleepless night, kept awake by something hard in the bed.
Alas, I know it is only a quarter of the way through 2013. I am expecting great things this year, no matter the ups or downs. It all works out to God’s glory and good. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. I am living in expectancy of God showing up in my days.
Having said that, it is a constant revelation to discover just how many ‘small things’ are peas under my mattress. No wonder I have a lumpy mattress and can’t find a comfortable spot. I am either rethinking and replaying every little worrisome detail I did wrong during the day. Or, I allowed satan to steal my peace in some way by believing the lies he whispers in my ear.
I recently read in a devotional, “Most of us don’t mind working our way through problems, but the moment we get relief, we want to stop right there. We do not go on to face up to what caused us to come to the wrong conclusions in the first place. This is why we keep going through the same problems over and over again-we fail to take an inside look. A school teacher claimed to have twenty-five years of experience, but her head teacher said of her: ‘She has just one year of the experience twenty-five times.’ She worked long but learned little.”
I so see my silly self in that statement, “…one year experience twenty-five times.” Makes me laugh at myself how often I do through the same problems over and over. I have stopped short of learning why they happened in the first place. I am afraid because I might find something I do not like. Most of the problems I make for myself are by wrong thinking or perceptions. Yes, I admit I have wrong thinking and wrong perceptions. Much of the inner turmoil I go through comes about because I have not seen life as a whole. Prejudice has been defined as ‘seeing only what you want to see.’ Several times I have heard my own voice say: “I have always seen it that way.” That is part of my problem-my eyes are fixed on just one side of an issue and I do not allow myself to look at the other sides. I am afraid of letting go of the perception I have held on to for so many years in fear of not being right…fear of being wrong…and admitting I was wrong.
I want to see life whole-I often settle for half the view of things rather than the whole. Makes me think of the song: “She’ll be coming around the mountain…one more time until I get it right.” I am pressing IN and pressing ON. God gives me the strength, grace and ability to move forward in all things no matter the circumstance.
The amazing part comes when through faith in Christ; God has set my feet in a secure place and not on slippery ground. Why I have been chosen to be recipient of such grace and favor I do not know. Yet it is so, I am deeply thankful
I finish with this thought: Gracious and loving Father, my heart bows in silent wonder as I contemplate the awesomeness of Your ways. Open my eyes that I might see that You are at work all around me and that Your face is constantly set against evil. Thank You for saving me, dear Lord Jesus
desire to embrace the good, the bad and the ugly pieces of my life happenings with a willingness to improve my attitude.